Bogeymen

Wonder Woman Comes Over to Play Cards Against Humanity with Me and My Friends

by Katherine Riegel

"Pursued" by Rees Nielsen

“Pursued” by Rees Nielsen

First of all, she’s big. I mean, tall and muscled and beautiful, and we can’t see up under her jeans but we think the red boots go all the way to her knees. We didn’t really expect her to show up in full uniform, so to speak, but I can tell the guys are disappointed.

We don’t see the car she must have arrived in—or plane?—but then, that’s to be expected, right?

After drinks are offered and accepted (she takes a beer, an IPA, which disappoints me a bit because as usual, I’m the only one drinking gin & tonic), we get down to it. She’s never played the game before, so we start with our go-to explanation. “Have you ever played Apples to Apples? It’s like that, but completely vulgar, dirty, offensive, and inappropriate.”

She shakes her head. They don’t play games much at the Justice League because everyone’s too predictable—Superman will be honest to a fault; Batman will think he’s not giving anything away but in poker, at least, he ALWAYS lies; Aquaman will inevitably get bored and start juggling beach balls like a two-armed dolphin. And Flash—well, he has an unfortunate way of distracting the other players with something like the kind of unsuper flash you get from guys wearing trench coats in parking lots, but so fast it’s nearly subliminal, and no one can ever concentrate after that.

Anyway, we get started. My red-haired friend who follows Cthulhu reads the black card that says, “If I were going to design a new line of fashion underwear, I’d call it ____________.” Read on!