Essays

This woman just explained consent with the most perfect metaphor

2222483181_2e5d47500c_oOkay. What about those men who really do believe if they just pressure you to drink the tea, you’ll thank them later? If only you’d taste it! You must want it as much as they want you to want it! 

And it doesn’t really address that guy who thinks his desire for you to drink tea trumps your right to abstain from the cup he’s brewing.

Still, I think this metaphor is worth talking about, especially for those otherwise-innocent men whose innate social-cue blindness may be increased by, let us say, blood redistribution.

Lisa Lanser Rose

Let’s break it down, shall we?

by Dennett Wilford

2265550123_96afbe0411_oConsent. It’s a powerful word that, for some bizarre reason, is still argued about to this day. It seems many people still don’t really get what “consent” means.

As Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess points out, it’s actually a pretty simple concept: “Whoever you are initiating sexytimes with, just make sure they are actually genuinely up for it. That’s it. It’s not hard. Really.”

And it shouldn’t be. But for many, it still is. Mystifying, right? So RDPP broke it down in the best way possible: with a metaphor so simple, even those who have historically had trouble grasping the concept should be able to understand it. We’ll let her do the talking:

If you’re still struggling, just imagine instead of initiating sex, you’re making them a cup of tea.

You say, “Hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they go, “OMG, f*ck yes, I would f*cking LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!” Then you know they want a cup of tea.

If they are unconscious, don’t make them tea. Unconscious people can’t answer the question, “Do you want tea?” because they are unconscious.

If you say, “Hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they um and ahh and say, “I’m not really sure…” then you can make them a cup of tea or not, but be aware that they might not drink it, and if they don’t drink it then — this is the important bit — don’t make them drink it. You can’t blame them for you going to the effort of making the tea on the off chance they wanted it; you just have to deal with them not drinking it. Just because you made it doesn’t mean you are entitled to watch them drink it. Keep reading at The Loop . . .

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