What do you say when people around you actively sow hate? Divisiveness? Misinformation? Doesn’t matter what side you’re on, the problem is clear—it isn’t the Republicans, it isn’t the Democrats. The sane and stable truth-loving constitution-upholding Americans are still out there respecting each other, worrying about the future, and wishing our United States were united again, because unity is what makes us great. The problem isn’t the Republicans or the Democrats or even the extremists on both sides. The problem is the sowers of chaos that divide us. How do we fight that?

My friends call me “Switzerland.” I stand with fairness, with mediation, with bridging differences, building on shared interests and values. I’m that fair-minded nerd who watches speeches at the RNC and now the DNC. I was a professor of rhetoric, so I know how to fact-check and I take the time to do it. My default setting is no drama. No lies. No demonizing. When someone rocks the boat, I steady it. As a result, I stay friends with people on every side of every conflict or divide, personal, political, or professional. And I’m proud of that. Sometimes it’s a lot of work.

But lately, as I watch the DNC, I feel myself taking a side, and it’s this—the sisterhood. I’m witnessing a tide of hatred against women, and it makes my stomach turn. The juxtaposition of the two conventions couldn’t make the stakes any clearer. I just can’t take the hatred anymore.

You know what I’m talking about. I don’t need to repeat any of it. There are some deeply disturbing racist, misogynistic, lowdown filthy things being said and images being shared that do no one any shred of good. It poisons us all. It endangers our daughters. Sharing it, spreading it, and even tolerating it normalizes hatred for females.

I will fight for my sisters, my daughters, my students, my mothers, and grandmothers. And it breaks my heart when I see a sister tear down a sister.

The hatred is foolish. It’s self-destructive. Divided you will fall. And we’ll belong to the oligarchs. It’s a tale as old as time.

If hateful is who you think this country is, if that’s what you think makes this country great, or you think acting and speaking with hatred is going to make the hatred go away, well, I pity your mama, your sister, your little girl.

Here’s what it comes down to for me. How does a country treat its weakest? How does it treat its children, its animals, its elderly? How does it treat the girls?

A woman is running for the highest office of our nation, something I’ve dreamed about since Geraldine Ferraro, but this election is about so much more than breaking that glass ceiling. For me, it’s about restoring respect for the worth and dignity of all human life. I just want my country to find its empathy again. I just want us to mind our manners again.

So, my sisters, when you see something hateful against a woman, what do you do? How to you sow unity, spread peace, heal the nation, make the world better for yourself and your sisters? What do you say?

“It’s up to all of us to be the antidote to darkness and division.”

Michelle Obama

I had the idea to copy down helpful quotes I’m grabbing from the DNC. I wish I heard more support of women in the RNC this year, but empowering women isn’t what they’re running on right now. I heard a lot of hatred, a lot of condemnation, a lot of divisiveness—and as I said, conflict, hatred, and division just isn’t how I’m wired. I’m a “We the People” person. I want our nation to go back to the political parties I remember, the parties who shared the common core values of democracy, dignity, and equal opportunity for all.

As I listen to our leading sisters speak, I’m taking notes as accurately as I can, stopping and starting the recordings to make them as accurate as I can, but I’m not perfect. I’m trying. I’ll keep adding to it.

You can copy-paste these quotes as replies or comments in response to social media posts that tear down women, divide America, or promote falsehood and hatred. You can use them to make a meme. You can commit them to memory, write them on a sticky note and put it on your mirror, or stick it somewhere where a friend or family member will run across it.

I’d love to read yours too. Let’s share!

My Crib Notes

Republicans

“I’m advocating for a democrat, and that’s because I love my country more than my party. Kamala Harris tells the truth, she respects the American people, and she has my vote.” Stephanie Grisham, former White House Press Secretary to DT

“DT and his minions call Kamala a communist. I know communism. I fled communism from Nicaragua when I was eight years old. I don’t take it lightly. And let me tell you what communist dictators do. And it’s never just for one day. They attack the free press. They call them the enemy of the people. . . . They put their unqualified relatives in government jobs so they can get rich off their positions. . . . And they refuse to accept legitimate elections when they lose and call for violence to stay in power. . . . Now you tell me something: do any of those things sound familiar? Is there anybody running for president who reminds you of that? And I know one thing–it’s not Kamala Harris.” Ana Navarro, Republican commentator.

“Every American has the duty to put country first. Country first before party. Country first before political ambition. Country first before habit. And in this election, country first means one thing and one thing only: voting for Kamala Harris.” Ana Navarro, Republican commentator.

Hilary Clinton

“In 2016 it was the honor of my life to accept our party’s nomination. And nearly 66 million Americans voted for a future where there are no ceilings on our dreams. And afterwards, we refused to give up on America. Millions marched, many ran for office, we kept our eyes on the future. Well, my friends, the future is here! I wish my mother and Kamala’s mother could see us. They would say, ‘KEEP GOING!’”  Hilary Clinton

“The story of my life and the history of this country is that progress is possible, but not guaranteed. We have to fight for it and never, ever give up.” Hilary Clinton

“No matter what the polls say, we can’t give up. We can’t get driven down crazy conspiracy rabbit holes. We have to fight for the truth. We have to fight for Kamala as she will fight for us. Because you know what? It still takes a village to raise a family, heal a country, and win a campaign.” Hilary Clinton

“We’re not just electing a president, we’re uplifting our nation. We’re opening the promise of America wide enough for everyone. Together we put a lot of cracks in the highest and hardest glass ceiling. Tonight, so close to breaking through once and for all, I wanna tell you what I see through all those cracks and why it matters for each and every one of us. What do I see? I see freedom. I see the freedom to make our own decisions about our health, our lives, our loves, our families. . . . I see freedom from fear and intimidation, from violence and injustice, from chaos and corruption. I see the freedom to look our children in the eye and say, ‘In America, you can go as far as your hard work and talent will take you’ and mean it.” Hilary Clinton

“When a barrier falls for one of us, it clears the way for the rest of us.” Hilary Clinton

“Be proud champions for the truth and the country that we love.” Hilary Clinton

“I want my grandchildren and their grandchildren to know that I was here at the moment, that we were here, and that we were with Kamala Harris every step of the way, this is our time America, this is when we stand up, this is when we break through, the future is here, it’s in our grasp, let’s go win it!” Hilary Clinton

Michelle Obama

“Look, I don’t care how you identify politically. Whether you’re Democrat, Republican, independent, or none of the above. This is our time to stand up for what we know in our hearts is right. To stand up not just for our basic freedoms, but for decency and humanity. For basic respect, dignity, and empathy. For the values at the very foundations of this democracy.” Michelle Obama

“Something magical is in the air. Isn’t it? Yeah. . . . It’s spreading all across this country we love. A familiar feeling that’s been buried too deep for far too long. . . . It’s the contagious power of hope. The anticipation, the energy, the exhilaration of once again being on the cusp of a brighter day. The chance to vanquish the demons of fear, division, and hate that have consumed us and continue pursuing the unfinished promise of this great nation. The dream that our parents and grandparents fought and died and sacrificed for. America, hope is makin’ a comeback!” Michelle Obama

“Cutting our healthcare, taking away our freedom to control our bodies, taking away our freedom to become a mother through IVF as I did, those things are not going to improve the health outcomes of our wives, mothers, and daughters. Shutting down our department of education, banning books, none of that will prepare our kids for the future. . . . That doesn’t make anybody’s lives better. Instead, it only makes us small.” Michelle Obama

“Going small is petty, it’s unhealthy, and quite frankly, it’s unpresidential. Why would any of us accept this from someone seeking our highest office? Why would we normalize that kind of backward leadership? Doing so only demeans and cheapens our politics. It only goes to further discourage good, big-hearted people from wanting to get involved at all. Our parents taught us better than that, and we deserve so much better.” Michelle Obama

“It’s his same old con, doubling down on ugly, misogynistic, racist lies as a substitute for real ideas and solutions that will actually make people’s lives better.” Michelle Obama

“Never forget there are those people who are eager to spread those lies, who don’t wanna vote for a woman, who will continue to prioritize building their wealth over insuring that everyone has enough.” Michelle Obama

“For years Donald Trump[’s] . . . narrow view of the world made him feel threatened by the existence of two hard-working, highly educated, successful people who happened to be black. Who’s gonna tell him the job he’s currently seeking might be one of those black jobs?” Michelle Obama

“No one has a monopoly on what it means to be an American.” Michelle Obama

“Kamala knows that most of us will . . . never benefit from the affirmative action of generational wealth.” Michelle Obama

“It couldn’t be more obvious. Of the two main candidates in this race, only Kamala Harris truly understands the unseen labor and unwavering commitment that has always made America great.” Michelle Obama

“We cannot indulge our anxieties about whether this country will elect someone like Kamala instead of doing everything we can to get someone like Kamala elected.” Michelle Obama

“It’s up to all of us to be the antidote to darkness and division.” Michelle Obama

“Don’t just sit around and complain, do something. If they lie about her, and they will, we got to do something.” Michelle Obama

“Do not squander the sacrifices our elders made to give us a better future.” Michelle Obama

“Don’t sit around and complain about things, DO something.” Michelle Obama

“We need to make sure every single person we know is registered and has a voting plan. We cannot afford for anyone . . . to sit on their hands and wait to be called. Don’t complain if no one from the campaign has reached out to ask you for your support. There is simply no time for that kind of foolishness. You know what you need to do.  Consider this to be your official ask, Michele Obama is asking you, no I’m telling you, to do something.” Michelle Obama

“Our fate is in our hands. We have the power to turn our country away from the fear, division, and smallness of the past.” Michelle Obama